Lent

"Hey Coach... great show. Good luck against those Gamecocks tonight! I just wanted to know what you gave up for Lent? I told myself that for lent, I'm going to give up talking about Jodie Meeks. Man, will it be hard. I did, however, find a loophole. If I call him 'Modie Jeeks', I'm still keeping my Lenten promise. What do ya think, Coach? I'll hang up and Listen"

-Owen from Owensboro

Traitorism

"Hey Coach...gotta tell you how disgusted I am. Just tuned into the radio and heard about that Cardinal traitor. Here I thought Ricky P done learned his lesson after leavin the most respected program in all the land. I mean it just ain't right coach...what kinda man with any ties to the Wildcats would be on TV with the Devil, Christian Laettner? Why, if Laettner's trailer was next door to mine I sure as hell wouldn't be drinkin colored water with him...you just might see me pullin the blocks out from underneath it! What kinda God fearin man would do this Coach?"

- Pissed in Pulaski

Mother Earth's Last Will and Testament

"Hey Coach, I was at church last weekend, and pastor said somethin that confused me. He said that the Meeks shall inherit the earth. Coach, does he mean that Jodie will inherit the earth, or does he mean that Jodie's whole family will get it? Really depends on where you put the apostrophe coach. Whatever he meant, I am sure glad that the earth will be the property of the best basketball player in the history of people not born in eastern Kentucky. I'll hang up and listen to you preach Brother Billy."

-Perplexed in Paintsville

UK 64 - VANDY 77

"Hey Coach... tough loss.  That Vandy team sure is tough at home.  Coach, are you purposely losing games so we can be a 12 seed in the tournament just so we can be the lowest seed to ever win the championship?  If that's the case... just tell us, coach.  I'm behind you 100% anyway."

-Bob from Bath County

Stimulus Plan

"Hey Coach,  big fan of yours.  My question is:  What do you think has a better chance of helping the Kentucky economy in the long run...  Barack Obama's stimulus plan, or Jodie Meeks just playing basketball?  I'll hang up and listen

-Mitch from Louisville (Calling from DC)

UK 79 - ARK 63

"Coach... great game this weekend!  We're at worst a 3 seed now.  I called just want to know one thing... How did you do it Coach? How did you convince Jodie Meeks to purposely miss 3 free throws to honor Michael Jordan (soon to be the second greatest ever to Meeks) with 45 points while wearing number 23? It was only fitting since MJ was just announced as a finalist to the Basketball Hall of Fame the day before. Pure genius, Coach. Thanks for taking my call!"

-Pat from the PRP

Greatest Rivalry

"Coach... I'm a big fan of the show and wanted to let you know that you're doing a hell of a job behind the sidelines.  Coach, the other night, I was watching UNC vs. Duke on ESPN.  They claimed that this game was the biggest rivalry in all of college basketball.  Coach, I disagree.  The biggest rivalry in college basketball has to be YOU (Coach Gillispie) vs. The Ladies of Lexington.   You probably have to fight 'dem off with yer clipboard, don't cha?  Man, what I'd sacrafice to be you, Coach...  I'll hang up and let you talk"

-Roger from Rockcastle

Jodie or Jodie?

"Hey Coach... Great News!  My wife is pregnant again!  If I had to gamble on it, I'm pretty sure this baby was conceived the night Jodie Meeks dropped 54 on those hated VOLS.  Coach, I've already decided that we're naming it 'Jodie' if it's a boy, or girl.  It's a win/win situation for us.  If it's a girl... My favorite TV show of all time is 'Full House'.  Remember that cute little girl that kept on saying, "How Rude?!"  Yeah Coach, her name was Jodie in real life.  If it's a boy, he'll be named after the greatest player of all time.  What do you think, Coach?  I'll hang up and listen..."

-Hank from Harlan

Lattner, Hodge, and Prison Time

"Hey Coach, that was a great win tonight coach. I have a a lot of questions coach, but I will try to be respectful of this, the holiest of venues.

First of all, do you think that nancy boy Christian Laettner paid Walter Hodge to step on our boy Perry? Coach, what do you think about criminal charges being pressed on people like Walter Hodge who commit horrendous acts of assault right there at the top of the key in RUPP ARENA???

On a side note coach, bein the assistant deputy to the deputy of security at Adair County High School, I was able to pull some strings and - let's just say if Mr. Hodge sets foot on school grounds, we got a bench warrant a waitin on him. And coach I ain't talkin about the kinda bench that Brandon Stockton sat on......GO BIG BLUE!"

-Adolph from Adair County

UF 65 - UK 68

"Thanks for taking my call Coach... I 'm going to make this short and sweet because I know the phone lines are jammed by CATS fans everywhere.  First, I want to congratulate you on a big win, Coach!  We're back on track to the Final 4.  Coach, the play you drew up for Jodie in the final seconds was the same play I drew on the back of a Rally's napkin to show my family what I thought you were going to run... And I was right!  Anyway, here's my question for you:  Would you rather be that singer Rihanna, who was beaten by the fists of that Chris Brown boy before the Grammys?  Or Nick Calathes, who had the chance to shoot, and miss, game tying free throws in front of the most intimidating crowd in all of college basketball?  Coach, I can't stand pressure... So I'll take the beating from the hoodlum.  I'll hang up and listen to your answer"

-Lexington Lenny

Cheating

"Hey Coach, good luck on the big game tonight!  Coach,  I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed that went to LCC for 5 years, but I sure can put 2 and 2 together... Bare with me.  A-Rod grew up and played most of his life in Miami, FL.  Miami is in the same state as Gainesville.  Gainesville is where the hated GATORS are from.  Coach, the whole state of Florida has nothing but cheaters.  Coach, you don't win back to back titles these days without cheating.  Thanks for listening.  I'll hang up and listen to your thoughts."

-Brent from Breathitt County

An Eye for an Eye

"Hey Coach....thanks for taking my call. I aint got much time, but I just thought I would ask something right quick. Coach, you thought of hiring Jeff Brohm? I know it's crazy coach, but hell they took Pitino from us, I say you take that damn Brohm for the sole purpose of tickin them Louisville fans off. An eye for an eye coach. What you think? I'll hang up and listen...go BIG BLUE!"

- Jess from Elkton

Octuplets

"Thanks for taking my call Coach... Go CATS!  I just wanted to comment on the woman who gave birth to octuplets.  What was she thinking?  She gave them all biblical names like 'Noah'. Let me start of by saying, I hate Florida.  Coach, I'm as religious as the next person, but if I have the opportunity, I'm naming my octuplets after Kentucky Greats - boy or girl.  The first one that would pop out of my wife would be named "Dan Issel" (he's the greatest).  We would then name the rest "Cotton Nash", "Pat Riley", "John Pelphrey", "Adolf Rupp", "Scott Padgett", "Rex Chapman", and "Travis Ford".  I know what your'e thinking Coach... but I'm already named after Richie Farmer as well as my two other brothers.  What do you think Coach?"

-Richie from Rowan County 

Recruiting

"Hey Coach, I was just calling cause I know you been out on the recruiting trail while you had this little break in the SEC schedule...which I believe is the toughest schedule of any conference hands down, don't know why people even talk like it aint, but anway, just wonderin when you gonna make it down to Pikevul, they got bunches of talent, kinda like a hidden treasure if you know what I mean. Aint a one of'em over 5'10" coach, but they play with heart coach and if you ask me, that may be the missing piece right now. Play close attention to that there point guard, he is a gem, he is also my boy. I tell you coach, he is a general out there on that court. Well coach, I was just callin to give you some help on that recruiting front cause I know coaches don't come down here often to see what we got. Thanks for taking my call coach and good luck on rest of season coach, looking for that Final 4 run!"

-Bubba from Pikevul (also known as Pikeville)

Good Behavior

"Coach, just want to let you know what a good job your doing with the CATS not only on the court, but more importantly, off it.  I saw a picture of that Olympic champion Michael Phelps doing some bad things.  You never read or hear any bad stories about our CATS.  They are well behaved all year long.  Coach, how do you do it?  How do you lock them down with all the temptations around Lexington like underage drinking, Two Keys Tavern, and them sorority houses?  I'll hang up and turn up my radio.  GO BIG BLUE!!!"

-Dave from Danville

Jodie vs. Sully

"Hey coach... got a quick question for you that kept me up last night. Who has more ice water in their veins, Jodie Meeks or "Sully" Sullenberger? I mean Sully did manage to save all those people by landing in the Hudson but Jodie wasn’t even sweating after going one shy of double nickels! I know I only get one vote but I vote for Jodie. I’ll hang up and listen to you talk."

-Greg in Grayson

Thoughts on Summit

"Thanks for letting me on Coach... How 'bout that Coach down in Tennessee?  Pat Summit just coached her 1,000 win, which I'm pretty sure is more wins than Western Kentucky has as a mens basketball program.  Coach, have you ever thought about mating with her?  Think about it.  She has 1,000 wins, you have the potential to coach the CATS to at least 1,500 wins...  Your child would not only wear the pants in the family regardless of sex, but would be a super coach.  I'll hang up and listen."

-Mike from Monroe County

Family Troubles

"Coach, we have a problem. All this losing we've been doing has taken a toll on my family. My family has bled blue for generations and I have a feeling that my son is losing interest in the CATS. Before the Mississippi State game, my 10 year old son and I were driving to Rupp Arena. I turned down the radio volume and said, "Son... Let's sing On! On! U of K to get us ready for the game." Coach, I was the only one singing. I don't even think he knew the words! A couple minutes later, that song by Miss Taylor Swift came on the radio. He sang every word and even played the air guitar. Coach... Is something wrong with my son? I'll listen to your thoughts after I hang up."

-Hazard Henry

CATS vs Knicks

"Good morning Coach... Did you by chance see the LeBron James highlights last night? He had a triple double (52 pts / 10 rebs/ 11 asts) against the Knicks. Star Players have been coming into Madison Square Garden and embarrassing the Knicks. Coach, I know we can't even beat an SEC team, but if the CATS played the Knicks... Do you Patrick Patterson would have a quadruple double with at least 67 pts / 22 rebs/ 17 asts /12 blocks? Keep in mind that Gator, David Lee, would be guarding him. I'll hang up and listen..."

-Boone County Brett

Dear Coach

Hey Coach - first of all I'd just like to say Go Big Blue. Coach, we all know that as UK Basketball coach, you are one of the smartest and most respected men in the world. Up there with the likes of George Strait, Richie Farmer, and the guy from the Purnell's Old Folks Country Sausage commercials. That's why I come to you with this problem Coach:

This mornin', I woke up with a whale of a headache. Last thing I remember was last night watchin the ball game against Mississippi State. That sonovagun Varnado has arms longer than the electric wires that are still down in my yard. Anyway, after I stumbled out of bed, I found my wife with a swollen eye, an empty jar of moonshine, and a bunch of needles in my Billy Clyde bobblehead. Coach this is the third time this has happened in the last 8 days, and it always happens after a UK game. Can you help me find the maniac that is breakin into my house, beatin up my wife, and drinkin all my shine???

-Cletus from Clermont

PS: Who won the game last night Coach?

Things Need to Change

"Hey there Coach... I know you don't listen to suggestions from the fans, but hear me out. I was a manager for Clay County in high school, so I know that I'm talking about. You need to change your starting lineup. We need Jared Carter patrolling the paint, Josh Harrellson in the post, Mark Krebs as a swing man, Landon Slone at the 2, and Michael Porter running point. I know what you're thinking... They're inexperienced, but this is about the fundamentals, Coach. we need to get back to the basics. I'll hang up and listen to your thoughts."

-Clay County Chris

MSU 66 v UK 57

"Great show Coach... That was a bad loss to take. I just wanted to know what you thought about the show LOST. They're doing this thing with time travel which got me thinkin'... Can we somehow move Rupp Arena back in time a couple years back when we were booing and calling for Tubby Smith to get fired only to have a mediocre coach replace him? I kind of want to change my mind. Also, while we're time traveling, can we go back and bring back Richie Farmer to help with the offense? I'll take your answer when I hang up. Thanks."

-Nick from Northern Kentucky

Kobe vs. Jodie

"Aye Coach... Thanks for taking my call. I saw that Kobe Bryant scored 61 points last night. I, for the life of me, cannot understand why this is such a big deal. Tell me this Coach, How many points would Kobe have after 40 mins in a hostile environment like Tennessee?? Last time I checked no one plays defense in the NBA except Tayshaun Prince. Give me Jodie Meeks. I'll hang up and listen."

-Bill from just south of Bullitt County.

USC 78 - UK 77

"Hey Coach! First time caller, long time listener ... That was a tough loss against the Gamecocks over the weekend. Coach, I was about to bet the farm that we were going to beat them. Speaking of losing, how sweet was it to see the Arizona CARDINALS lose the superbowl and the Louisville CARDINALS get destroyed by UCONN last night?? If you can't tell, I hate all teams that call themselves CARDINALS. I'll hang up and listen to your answer. Go CATS!"

- Frankfort Fred